5 Things Not To Do To Get Your Ex Back

Dont Do These Things If You Want Your Ex Back

Breakups throw most people into a funk.  Of course if you’re super excited to “finally be rid of that dirt bag”, then maybe you’re throwing a party and aren’t in a funk at all.  Then again, you probably wouldn’t be here right now reading this, if that was the case.

There’s no doubt, breakups hurt!  They hurt like hell.  The pain.  The broken self-esteem.  The anger and disappointment can almost be too much to bear sometimes.

Many times, the pain is associated with being scared; being scared at the idea of permanently losing someone you truly care about.  You know you’ll miss your boyfriend or girlfriend.  The thought of being alone scares you.  The thought of them with someone else scares you.

Perhaps author, John Green, said it best, “You can love someone so much…But you can never love people as much as you can miss them.”  That makes a lot of sense.

The “missing” often causes the pain, but the “missing” can also ruin your chances of getting back together.  How so?  Because it often causes people to over-react to their emotions.  It causes them to rush when they should take their time.  It causes them to say and do the wrong things spur of the moment, instead of looking at the situation calmly and rationally.

The fear of being without your ex can often cause you to “jump the gun” trying to get them back.  You become needy and desperate.  You beg, plead, apologize, and lose your backbone.  Ultimately, you become undesirable.

Relationships, and especially breakups, don’t work that way.  Quite the opposite is true.  The more you try to chase and convince your ex, the more you repel them.

With that in mind, let’s look at some of the most common mistakes people make when they get dumped.  These are things not to do while trying to get your ex back.  They can ruin your chances of repairing the relationship in a hurry.

1. Do Not Chase Your Ex

We touched on it earlier, but one of the biggest mistakes people make is “chasing” their ex in an effort to convince them to come back.  Chasing takes on a lot of different forms.  It can include showing up at their house or place of work uninvited.  It can be repeatedly sending texts or making phone calls.  It can be apologizing over and over again for the same thing.

If your ex wants to leave, let him or her go.  Cut off contact.  If you want your ex back, let them miss you.  You don’t need to do the convincing.  Their own mind will do all the convincing for you when they start to wonder what you’re doing and who you might be with now that they aren’t around.

Oh, and never send these types of text to your ex…

2. Do Not Propose To Your Ex

This may sound a little funny, but it happens more than you might think.  It’s more a problem for men, but it’s a problem nonetheless.

If your girlfriend dumps you, don’t try to win her back by proposing.  You may think it’s the ultimate symbol of your love for her, but if she broke up with you, the last thing she’s thinking about is marrying you.  It will only add more stress to an already stressful situation.

3. Do Not Send Your Ex Gifts

Flowers.  Rings.  Chocolates. Cars.  Don’t even think about it.  Trying to “buy” your way back into the relationship doesn’t work.  It will only make your ex resent you.  This isn’t the Mexican Police, so don’t try to bribe your way out of the situation.

4. Do Not Write A Novel Explaining All The Things You Did Wrong

If you did something wrong, apologize once, say you were wrong, and leave it at that.  You don’t need to write the breakup version of “War and Peace” to get your ex back.

Something as simple as a card or handwritten note that just says “I was wrong.  I’m sorry,” is much more effective than pouring your heart out on paper.  Your ex doesn’t want a recap of everything that’s gone wrong in the relationship so they can relive all those horrible feelings.  Keep things short and sweet.  This is one reason using text messages to get your ex back is incredibly effective when done in the right way.

5. Do Not Pretend To Be Pregnant

Alright ladies, this one is for you.  (Guys, you can fake being pregnant if you want, but your girlfriend definitely isn’t going to believe you.  J)

Just like men sometimes propose to try and keep their girlfriend around, women sometimes fake being pregnant to try and keep a guy around.  It doesn’t work.

It makes you look pathetic.  It makes you a liar, and it’s just mean.  So don’t do it.  The same is true of saying something horrible like, “I’m going to kill myself if you leave me.”  Never try to blackmail your ex into staying.

Avoid the 5 mistakes above and half the battle is already won.  If you need additional help, there are several good guides out there that can help you get your ex back step by step.  Get this one if you can.

 

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Want Him To Call You Back? Avoid These 5 First Date Blunders

Searching for Mr. Right can be exciting and fun for some women and completely nerve-wracking for others. It can feel downright impossible at times to figure out what men secretly want. But all this is perfectly understandable and it makes sense because each and every one of us is unique in what we want from a relationship and how we approach the game of dating.

When looking for a life-long partner, most of us have a pretty good idea of our “must haves” along with our “deal breakers”, but that doesn’t make the process any easier. Often we get in our own way and find out later that we are keeping ourselves from finding true love. All we really need to do is have fun and enjoy the process.

Below are 5 dating “no-no’s” if you want to ensure “Mr. Perfect” calls you back and wants to take you out on more than just one date.

Fault Finding

Dating is an emotional journey and you have every right to be cautious of the people you brush shoulders and become intimate with. But remember, no one is perfect. If you start searching for faults, that’s exactly what you’ll find.

Instead of concentrating on what’s wrong with your dating partner, focus on what you like. It creates positive energy.

The Illusion Of The Next Best Option

When dating, focus on the here and now. Stay present. If you constantly wonder if someone better is waiting around the corner, then you never give yourself a true opportunity to find love. Instead, you jump from one person to the next, to the next, to the next and never give yourself an opportunity to be open to a relationship. People who fall into this trap often find loneliness instead of love.

The Complaining Attitude

Negativity kills relationships. Your life might suck. You might hate your job. Your family is driving you crazy. That other car just cut you off. You’re having a bad hair day. And on and on. But guess what? Your date doesn’t want to hear it. A date is not the time and place to complain about your life. Be positive. Have fun. No guy wants to be with a negative Nancy.

Woman Kissing A Man On The Cheek

Positive energy leads to positive dating experiences!

Revealing Too Much

Don’t reveal too much about yourself too soon. In any relationship, you must be willing to open up, but a first date isn’t the time and place to dig into emotionally draining topics. There will be plenty of time for that later on.

Concentrating On Self

Relationships are back and forth. Give and take. Don’t just talk about yourself and your life. Encourage your date to share his ideas and opinions too. Back and forth sharing enhances balance and shows that you care.

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